I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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