Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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