now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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