She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
sex in a hospital.. check
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
