Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
