At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
