I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
