It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
