is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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