she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
