Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
