i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
