In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
