After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
