I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
