What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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