I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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