You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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