A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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