Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
