I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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