It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
