the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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