How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
