party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
