a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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