i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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