love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
