I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
