Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
