am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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