don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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