I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
