Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
