This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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