She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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