My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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