I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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