SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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