you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
