I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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