u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
