Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
