some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
