theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
