This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
