I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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