I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
