i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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