Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
