You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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